Each of us has had a unique journey, a road filled with the mixture of joy and pain, challenge and overcoming, set-backs and promotions, heart ache and belly laughter.  Ultimately, however, we realize that life appears incomplete and void without the company of an intimate partner.  We may have satisfying careers, loving friends and wonderful family.  These blessings, somehow, just don't measure up to the magic of being loved and cherished in a relationship.  Some of us feel unlucky in love, unworthy of love, unlovely and maybe even unloveable.  We've tried internet dating, blind dating, meeting strangers and even long periods of total draught.

We stand with our arms raised up to the heavens and our lips quivering, "What about me?  Why have you forgotten about me?  Is my sin so great?  Am I so wretched?  Why do I not deserve the love and companionship, the tenderness and the passion that so many others enjoy?"  I don't have the answer to this fundamental inquiry.  I simply don't understand this world's economy.  Why are some women thin and fit and others put on pounds just being in the presence of food?   Why are some women witty and clever and others struggle to find their voice in any situation?  Why are some women loved and cherished - protected and provided for and others betrayed, abandoned, lied to, deceived and left picking up the pieces of the disaster left behind - again and again?

I am one of those women who give it all in love.  One who loves with her whole being, cherishes her partner, tries to make his entire existence more satisfying through physical and emotional love, generosity, attentiveness, tenderness, conversation, support, validation, and yet ... yup, still alone.  Reflecting back on the relationships broken, the disappointments, deceptions, misrepresentations and heart ache I frequently wonder - what is wrong with me?

So, now at 44, divorced once and single for what seems like an eternity, I have decided to just stand and wait.  I call this the sacred act of waiting.  The conscious decision to trust God for provision and to know that He can and He will if it is what He has in store for my journey.  If not, I am certain that I don't want any more frauds, facsimiles, or men along for a fun ride who have no intention of honoring me.

After you have done all that you can, just stand.  To be continued ...